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Having Difficult Conversation

 

Having difficult conversations is part of a line manager’s role. The issue the manager needs to address may be important to the organisation’s performance.

Would it be more appropriate for somebody else to have the conversation with the employee?

Difficult topics of conversation

Any conversation a manager would rather not have can result in a perception that it will be a difficult conversation:

  • The manager may be embarrassed due to sensitive nature of issue
  • The manager may fear the employee will react negatively

Types of examples of issues that managers find difficult to raise with employees.

  • Misconduct
  • Providing critical feedback

Addressing the issue with the Individual turns the situation into a positive one:

  • Critical feedback can help the employee improve
  • Having a discussion with the employee can give him/her the opportunity to talk about something he/she has bottled up
  • In a misconduct situation, a conversation can elicit the reason for the misconduct

The importance of addressing difficult issues promptly

Address difficult issues at the earliest opportunity:

  • Waiting for a more suitable opportunity results in the issue not being dealt with
  • A problem will not usually resolve itself
  • Even if the manager thinks a problem is temporary, it may reoccur if it is not dealt with
  • Not dealing with the issue can lead to further complications

The consequences of failing to address the issue

Failing to address the issue could have serious consequences:

  • It may interfere with the manager’s work
  • Poor performance/misconduct could worsen/become more entrenched
  • If it relates to poor performance/misconduct, it will be more difficult to impose a disciplinary sanction later
  • It may cause productivity problems
  • It may lead to morale/stress problems for the employee’s colleagues
  • Rumours could develop and cause unease
  • It could result in a loss of respect for the manager and the organisation
  • It could lead to negative consequences for the employee, eg stress
  • the manager’s failure to acknowledge his/her mistake could encourage employees to do the same

The conversation: five key tips – prepare

  • Investigate the issue
  • Consider the ideal outcome
  • Think about the employee’s character and likely reaction and adapt style
  • Think about your frame of mind
  • Prepare any relevant materials

The conversation: five key tips – environment

Practice what you are going to say

Location and environment:

  • Conduct conversation in private and on a one-to-one basis
  • Consider using a neutral location
  • Face-to-face conversations are more effective
  • Consider layout of the room
  • Allow sufficient time and have second meeting if necessary

Top Tip – Careful consideration of the subject matter and the person with whom the conversation is to be had is time well spent before the meeting

The conversation: key tips – communicate

  • Set the right tone: begin the conversation in a professional and non-threatening manner
  • State the issue clearly
  • Put the issue in context: explain why it is important
  • Give specific examples and evidence
  • Focus on the issue, not the person
  • stick to facts and avoid expressing an opinion about the employee
  • Avoid an attitude of blame: address the issue in a collaborative way
  • Avoid belittling the issue
  • Be positive
  • Be aware of your body language
  • Being listened to is empowering
  • It can help employees feel that they are being taken seriously
  • Listening will help to gather useful information
  • Prepare questions but let the employee react in his/her own time

Dos and don’ts

Do

  • Ask for the employee’s view,  to help find a solution
  • Use open questions
  • Listen to and acknowledge the employee’s point of view
  • Appreciate the value of silence
  • Ask if you have not understood something
  • Summaries the employee’s points
  • Check that the employee has understood what you have said

Don’t

  • Jump in while the employee is speaking
  • Answer questions that you have put to the employee
  • Ask multiple questions

 The conversation: five key tips – explore

  • Explore the issue with the employee
  • Use probing questions to clarify what the employee has said, eg “tell me more about that”
  • Ask rather than tell
  • Allow the employee time to respond and listen to responses
  • Discuss pros and cons of different options

Dealing with an employee’s difficult attitude

  • The meeting can be productive even if the employee is upset or angry
  • Remain calm
  • Let the employee “vent”
  • Remember the reason for the meeting
  • Remember the issue needs to be dealt with: do not postpone simply because    the employee is not receptive
  • Explain the employee’s attitude is not helping the organisation as a whole

The conversation: five key tips – agree action

  • Agree a way forward with the employee: it helps him/her take responsibility for resolving the issue
  • Brainstorm
  • Start with small steps
  • Agree a deadline and a date for the next meeting

The conversation: five key tips – agree action

  • If the employee needs to improve, agree how development or progress will be measured
  • Take into account any support the employee might need
  • Ask the employee to summarise agreed steps
  • End by explaining your support

Following the meeting

  • Keep momentum going
  • Achieving successful outcome is an ongoing process
  • Ensure employee feels supported: have regular discussions with him/her
  • Document what was said and agreed, and agree content of record
  • Monitor implementation of agreed actions
  • Comply with your obligations as to follow-up